Viewing: General Info - View all posts

A Little Blurb on Why I am Thankful Today. 

This morning I awaken, after a beautiful Thanksgiving, feeling humbled by the many blessings in my life. God has been so good to me I couldn't even really begin to know where to start listing the countless, amazing ways in which my life has changed over the past two years, after re-connecting with my faith.

In my lifetime, I was lost for so long, in fear, hurt, sadness, anger.....I was not always kind to others in my actions, and I was especially not kind to myself. There was a particular night that I had a significant change of heart.

One night, I was leading a group songwriting workshop with a friend, working with a youth group at St Paul's Episcopal Church in Dayton, OH at an all night lock-in.

I grew up in my Grandmother's little, one room, non-denominational church, and I was, frankly, completely cynical about big, fancy churches. I had convinced myself that nothing of substance really happened in those places, that it was all just a big show most of the time. In classic fashion, God humbled me in a HUGE way that night, reminding me that I was judging, and that good works happen everywhere. Not only were the young people in the youth group absolutely wonderful and inspiring, it seemed everyone there had a heart of gold, and I saw how much they really cared about sharing love and compassion and helping their community. I was, again humbled. After leading a group prayer/ meditation in their old chapel, and after everyone had turned in to sleep for the night, I went back to that chapel, I got down on my knees, laid my head on the altar and cried my soul out, asking for forgiveness, and learning in my heart, how to forgive. I forgave my abusers, I forgave myself for my past mistakes, I asked for forgiveness for judging these beautiful people, and for assuming I knew anything, at all, without God's guidance. My heart was forever changed that night. I had spent so much time focusing on learning not to judge the addict, the prostitute, the lost, but I had forgotten that I was still judging the preachers, the volunteers, the love warriors, all because they had a different tradition than my own. I had forgotten my compassion, I was still judging.

Today, I am once again humbled, just remembering this. Every morning, my Grandmother, who has been preaching since 1969, gets up, eats breakfast, and watches The 700 Club. Television preachers, were another group, that I had decided I had no time for. After spending a few mornings with my Grandmother watching Pat and friends on there, I realized, that once again, I had been judging. I watched, realizing how many hearts they had touched, how many hungry children they have fed around the world, how many broken hearts and hopeless situations had been healed with their help, and I realized.........SO WHAT, BIG DEAL, if I didn't agree with their politics, SO WHAT, if I didn't see eye to eye with them on everything? I may not always love when the politics creep in, but no one can deny the true kindness in sweet ol' Pat's eye, and you certainly have to admire his faith and tenacity for standing up for what he believes in, with no apology, and you certainly cannot deny that he LOVES.

Everywhere you go, there are "good" and "bad" eggs, so to speak. Our job, on this Earth, is to LOVE EVERYONE, to show them compassion, to be kind to EVERYONE, no matter how we feel about them, or their actions, personally. How do we even define these ideas of "good" and "bad" as humans with many facets to our existence, none of us being perfect, anyway?

Another time I was humbled, again, I attended an event called Hope Over Heroin, put on by the Solid Rock Church in Monroe, OH. They have been the butt of countless jokes for their statue of Jesus out front, I even participated in the ribbing myself. I saw, at this event, people with amazing hearts, who wanted nothing more than to help. They were changing people's lives, saving lives, and giving people invaluable resources they couldn't find anywhere else to beat their addiction. I was, again, approaching the situation cynically, it seemed like such an over produced show before remembering my compassion. Then, they were baptizing people up front, asking them if they were ready to give up their addictions, and accept God into their heart. I saw one woman's face, as she came back up, I saw all of her facets, all of the hurt, all of her fear, fading, and the most beautiful look of hope....I can never describe it, and I wept, uncontrollably. I realized, no matter what the methodology, the importance of saving just one life, just one soul, from the grips of fear and addiction, is just as important as saving a million, every single soul is priceless. I knew her fear, I had felt it myself, and I knew how beautiful it was to finally let go of it.

I am only alive today, because others who didn't agree with my self-destructive actions, showed me love and compassion. I am only alive today, because of countless prayers, countless hours of patient love from my family, from my friends, and because God saved my life, let me live, kept me around through all of these struggles for a reason. I am alive because of the Divine Love of God.

I wrote "Come Here, My Dear" about a night when I was the one the narrator in the song was speaking to, laying naked on the floor, drunk, with a knife, ready to take my own life. The only thing that saved me was love, through the words of a friend, the love of my family, and the word of the Lord.

I wrote the Growth Project, in hopes of sharing that love with others. Especially with those who had felt broken, lost, and hurt like myself, starving for something to fill the hole in their hearts. The only thing that saved me was the love God shows me every day, not only through his word, but in the hearts of others, in the laughter of my beautiful daughter, in a little bird's song, in the petal of a is everywhere, when you finally accept it, you will feel it and see it, everywhere you look.

The Growth Project is really a Gospel Album, though many wouldn't see it that way, traditionally. It is about that divine love saving a soul. Today, my soul is again humbled, and I thank you all for your support along the journey. I could not be more grateful to have made the changes I have made in my life, and I could have never done them without love.

I hope you all had a beautiful holiday, as well, and I am thankful for you. I pray you all are blessed today, no matter what your tradition, no matter where you are in life, no matter what mistakes you've made, just remember, you are loved.

<3 Moriah Haven

Growth Project EP Release at Taffy's Tonight! 8pm! 

Tonight at 8pm, at TAFFYs - The Music Mecca of the Universe - Beer - Wine - Java, I will FINALLY be releasing the ‪#‎GrowthProject‬ EP. We are having a costume party, where you can win prizes that are handmade and unique and include neat band merch and all kinds of goodies. There is also an Artist Showcase featuring performances by these lovely, talented people:

Nancy Paraskevopoulos
Jim Pelz Music
Drew Joseph
Paige Beller

I made 50 hand-illustrated CD sleeves that each have a unique drawing for them. My buddy Joe Augustin helped me burn & print the cds, and I haven't slept sufficiently for days finishing preparations. I spent my life savings, quit my day job, lost my mind a few times, taught myself how to (barely) use Ableton & how to use midi, edited my writings more than I ever fathomed to in the past, worked with a ton of amazing humans, and have put my entire heart, soul, blood, sweat, and tears into these 5 little songs. I am very proud of this project, and we will have a ton of fun tonight. I hope you will join us!